AliceLockehart

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Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 6:10am)

AliceLockehart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1392
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AliceLockehart : - Alice
- 21
- Vegan
- Music

AliceLockehart's page activity

Visits<b>mike33333</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:02am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:21pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:21am<b>heyLaddieHey</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 9:39am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 9:29pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:01am<b>PickleQueen223</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:37am<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:11am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:41pm<b>californian21</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:59am<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:33pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:40pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:18pm<b>dlm3212</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:59pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:08am<b>AngryAmerican</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:29am

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AliceLockehart's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

by Blink_me26 / 08/19/2013 at 12:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

by onlyslightly / 11/30/2012 at 3:33am / United States / Work

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

by 635CSi / 06/06/2012 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

by 635CSi / 06/06/2012 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Health