Ali_Br

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Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 4:22am)

Ali_Br

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9000
  • Number of comments : 540
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid, So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;) I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences (especially since I write a lot.) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie. I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories. (Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>LittleBit1014</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:55pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:52am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:49pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:37pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:04am<b>melons</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:14am<b>Idiot_Penguini</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 7:37pm<b>ActuallyDavid</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:25am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:54am<b>testtest2</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:02am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:17am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>rustybucket</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:04am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:40pm

Fucked!<b>ActuallyDavid</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:25am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:13am<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

by scared / 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

by NaomiMadison / 07/30/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Kids

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

by LLCoolBean / 03/03/2011 at 3:32am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

by JustADream / 02/24/2011 at 1:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation