Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ali_Br

Online | Search for a member

Ali_Br

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8189
  • Number of comments : 521
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:10am<b>jsan727</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:41am<b>FritoPotatoChip</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:25pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:27pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 7:03am<b>LalaLuna13</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 2:12pm<b>pumpkinlamps</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:12pm<b>BLS77z</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:47am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:18pm<b>anumakhlaq</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:56pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Isak366</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:53pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:44am<b>Ash234123</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:05am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11018) - you deserved it (34984)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33297) - you deserved it (3737)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63509) - you deserved it (5093)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2708)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (16890)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (3420)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (8664)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (8664)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38993) - you deserved it (7842)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (11551) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56817) - you deserved it (4760) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: