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Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8195
  • Number of comments : 521
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:10am<b>jsan727</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:41am<b>FritoPotatoChip</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:25pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:27pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 7:03am<b>LalaLuna13</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 2:12pm<b>pumpkinlamps</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:12pm<b>BLS77z</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:47am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:18pm<b>anumakhlaq</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:56pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Isak366</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:53pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:44am<b>Ash234123</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:05am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (3489)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

#21298300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/13/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by FuglyBetty (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21043) - you deserved it (43064)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48410) - you deserved it (3759)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

#21153696
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (7512)

On 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by seriously? - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (5332)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45467) - you deserved it (7058)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44823) - you deserved it (9080)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (7834)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37408) - you deserved it (13744)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you deserved it (3277)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (3850)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (6313)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)



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