Ali_Br

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Ali_Br

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8452
  • Number of comments : 525
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About Ali_Br : I try not to be serious in anything I say on here. My humor is sometimes morbid,So most of the advice I give will lead you down a dark alley with two shaded figures holding something shiny...Or not. ;)I'm a college graduate. I have decided to submit an FML for every year of my life. Hey, why not?I usually use an iPod for this site, so I do not always capitalize at the beginning of sentences. (Especially since I write a lot) I try not to be a grammar Nazi. We are all human, (Except for those who state otherwise lqtms) and mistakes happen. C'est la vie.I like French, and finally got to study it in college, so I read VDM and MDR whenever I understand the stories.(Oh, and while you are reading my profile, I'm not interested in internet dating. Many times while scrolling with my iPod, my finger hits a picture, and it opens up a profile. Sorry, unless your pic has small words that require a closer view of the pic to read, it was most likely an accident)

Ali_Br's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:54am<b>testtest2</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:02am<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 9:38pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:17am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>rustybucket</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:04am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:40pm<b>gsouther</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:15pm<b>nockels</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:55pm<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:31am<b>raven83</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:40am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:59am<b>landonkoon</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:33am<b>TeddW</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:50pm

Fucked!<b>psmith78332</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:13am<b>luvyou521</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:19pm

Ali_Br's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Ali_Br's badges

Ali_Br's favorite FMLs

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

by Ace / 03/31/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

by tooembarrassed / 02/12/2016 at 10:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

by shitty candles / 12/01/2014 at 2:30am / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

by FuglyBetty / 11/13/2014 at 11:44am / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

by ThatNewCarSmell / 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

by paywithpoop / 06/22/2014 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

by gircos / 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

by gassymomma / 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

by killmenow / 04/23/2014 at 10:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous