Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alexismaria

Offline (yesterday at 11:33pm) | Search for a member

Alexismaria

13Fucked!

AlexismariaAlexismaria
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 August 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 422
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Alexismaria : Junior😁

Alexismaria's page activity

Visits<b>HeavyWeaponsGuy</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:48pm<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:44pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:02pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:26am<b>pinkpalmtrees</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:34pm<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:29pm<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:09am<b>pawesome21</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:35am<b>Hawk420</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:29pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:33am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:55pm<b>xXShadowStormXx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:20pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:30am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:35pm

Fucked!<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:10am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:35am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 8:29pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:30am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:46am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:45pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:21pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:05pm<b>DO24SS</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:58am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:51am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:54am

Alexismaria's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of Alexismaria's badges

Alexismaria's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

#21520812
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18252) - you deserved it (4060)

On 01/29/2016 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

#21467226
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

#21467190
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (8368)

On 09/11/2015 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
164 comments

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (3121)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (4597)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (8365) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60149) - you deserved it (6336)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (39667)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (18292)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10688) - you deserved it (124061)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65388) - you deserved it (7364)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: