Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 August 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 298
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Alexismaria : Sophomore😁

Alexismaria's page activity

Visits<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:28pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:23pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:16am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 11:16pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:46pm<b>livelikely</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:33am<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:58am<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:57am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:43am<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:22am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:36pm<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Locyn</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:21am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:22am

Liked!<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:46am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:45pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:21pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:05pm<b>DO24SS</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:58am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:51am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:54am

Alexismaria's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of Alexismaria's badges

Alexismaria's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (2931)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (4362)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (8089) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML


I agree, your life sucks (55363) - you deserved it (5834)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (37900)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (17379)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (119345)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61085) - you deserved it (6907)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (241534) - you deserved it (82252)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: