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Offline (the 09/18/2015 at 4:26am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 August 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 396
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Alexismaria : Junior😁

Alexismaria's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:26am<b>pinkpalmtrees</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:34pm<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:29pm<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:09am<b>pawesome21</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:35am<b>Hawk420</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:29pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:33am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:55pm<b>xXShadowStormXx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:20pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:30am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:35pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:45pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:28pm

Fucked!<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:10am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:35am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 8:29pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:30am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:46am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:45pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:21pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:05pm<b>DO24SS</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:58am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:51am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:54am

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See all of Alexismaria's badges

Alexismaria's favorite FMLs

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (2751)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (8295)

On 09/11/2015 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (2504)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (7679)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37664) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (4570)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (8312) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59875) - you deserved it (6313)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (39360)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (18170)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10539) - you deserved it (123248)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64874) - you deserved it (7316)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (255738) - you deserved it (87426)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

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