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Alexis32

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Alexis32
  • Town/Country : Michigan, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Alexis32 : Sports are life
Softball
Basketball
Dance
Volleyball
Track

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Alexis32's favorite FMLs

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (11180)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (7633)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (1374)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (5092)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (2093)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

#512486
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47667) - you deserved it (19251)

On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)



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