About AlexandraShD : 20. Moving to NYC in September 2015.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
AlexandraShD's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by lprocter1982 / 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Transportation
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
by phonemenace / 08/17/2011 at 5:50am / United States (California) / Money
by nolove4me / 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
by Alec / 06/15/2011 at 5:02am / United States / Health
by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Brandon / 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by the_pheasant66 / 06/26/2010 at 6:31am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
- Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…