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Alex_DeLarge

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Alex_DeLarge

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 129111
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Alex_DeLarge's page activity

Visits<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:53pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:49pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:07pm<b>kikyophoenix</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>OutOfTimeMan</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:16am<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>mirrrrrr</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:38am<b>QTp13</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:51am<b>Darrus</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 9:10am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 4:33am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 7:27pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 4:47pm<b>soccerkika6</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 10:56am<b>girandwogpig</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 1:23pm<b>altkat</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 3:18am

Fucked!<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:53pm

Alex_DeLarge's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Alex_DeLarge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (14662)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18356) - you deserved it (70347)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (10464)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71878) - you deserved it (12610)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106049) - you deserved it (6746)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49832) - you deserved it (9649)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51489) - you deserved it (22051)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (275880)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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