About AlaskanG : Air Force
Yes, I do live in Alaska. I'm usually on the app so message me if you want.
About AlaskanG : Air Force
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AlaskanG's favorite FMLs
by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work
by unlovedmommy / 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm / India (Jammu and Kashmir) / Work
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML
by pained / 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML
by FallingNinjaa / 05/01/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by lonely_island / 04/28/2014 at 5:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 4:05pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Holidays
by ewhy / 04/23/2014 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML
by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML
by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
- Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't… Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with… Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions.…