AlaskanG

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Offline (the 03/25/2016 at 8:38am)

AlaskanG

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : North Pole, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2399
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About AlaskanG : Air Force
Crew chief

Yes, I do live in Alaska. I'm usually on the app so message me if you want.

AlaskanG's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:09am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 9:45pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:21pm<b>thejpanderson</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:49pm<b>joshszz</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:46am<b>walid820014</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:17am<b>Ipeh</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Mackade</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:31am<b>freyday</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:30am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:18am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:49pm<b>zeeman2015</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:11am<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:09am<b>shunter54</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:59am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:34am<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:00pm<b>ianarnold</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:13pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:52am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:59am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:29am<b>shunter54</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:09am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:32pm<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:24am<b>AussieChild</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:12am<b>angelitared</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:43am

AlaskanG's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of AlaskanG's badges

AlaskanG's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

by Where is it coming from?! / 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

by shart up, your puns suck / 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

by jonchavez / 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

by idontevencareanymore / 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

by notgoodwitholdpeople / 05/23/2014 at 12:00pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

by CapnCrunchKat / 05/09/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Delaware) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.