Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Agnesia

Offline (the 02/27/2015 at 9:20am) | Search for a member

Agnesia

0Liked!

AgnesiaAgnesia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Agnesia's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:35pm<b>sorainu</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:22am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:47pm<b>gayflaco</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:55pm<b>RavenCent</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:34am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Timmster007</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>ang3l4</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:24am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:04pm<b>acciofrenchhorn</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:05am

Agnesia's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Agnesia's badges

Agnesia's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (9429)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31201) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36703) - you deserved it (2068)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19748) - you deserved it (35912)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (38164)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: