AdrastosArmor

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Offline (the 11/09/2014 at 4:34am)

AdrastosArmor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AdrastosArmor's page activity

Visits<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:58am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:50am<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:40pm<b>lorellecaimyth</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 2:22am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 2:08pm<b>JohnBoyFsYL</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:11pm<b>NaomiOchoa</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 11:41pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:04pm<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:11am<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:26pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 2:26am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 4:32am<b>BrettBeets</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 3:05am<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:43pm<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 7:13pm

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AdrastosArmor's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

by patriarchal apparently / 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm / Saint Lucia / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

by MommaAnnie / 05/02/2013 at 11:59am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

by wow / 03/14/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

by OptimusVader / 03/13/2013 at 9:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

by PhailedMidterm / 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy