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Adiedee's favorite FMLs
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML
by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 2:49am / United States / Kids
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous
by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…