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Adamm1

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Adamm1
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  • Number of visits : 502
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Adamm1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66193) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (5745)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54794) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (8600)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (31574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (2964)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52597) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45887) - you deserved it (5705)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (3287)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53847) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58713) - you deserved it (3134)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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