AculyAmber

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AculyAmber

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AculyAmber : Oh hey! My names Amber! My friends say I'm from the internet, because this is where I spend all my time. If you're being an asshole, I'll go out of my way to piss you off just sayin. So yeah.. I'm not sure what else to put! okay bye xxxoxoxooxoxo #swag #yolo #kony2013P.S. I'm a sarcastic lil shit k bye

AculyAmber's page activity

Visits<b>RubenB</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:54am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:34am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:52am<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:22pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:44am<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:56pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:10am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 11:58pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 10:05pm<b>OGCxILLUSION</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:19am<b>Darkness121</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:11pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:47am<b>cdw2014</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:40am<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:16pm<b>NeoNazi1488</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:34am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:34pm<b>equitationbound</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:52am

Fucked!<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:22pm

AculyAmber's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of AculyAmber's badges

AculyAmber's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation