About ActionFearo : Hi! I'm an EMT and I read FML whenever I'm bored! This site is hilarious and I really love it.
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ActionFearo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Welshite / 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm / United States / Work
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm / Australia / Kids
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
by see you next cunt / 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm / United States / Health
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
by dyingangel246 / 03/05/2014 at 5:15am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…