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Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 7:43am) | Search for a member

Accept

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Accept's favorite FMLs

Taday I went to my ig scool reunion !! Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, u look so different!" Se ten followed it up wit, "You used to be so pretty, wat appened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I went on a new medicine . One of the listed side-effects was ( anal seepage ) an I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's ( not a real side-effect ) . I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home . big fat FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (9544)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the gymhen I noticd a girl I lyk working out on the elliptical . I went to go say hi, but chickend out an went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead . I was so nervous that I trippd an the machine threw me headfirst into her machine . FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (8103)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah mom came into mah room to give me a goodbye kiss!! Due to the routine of mah grlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last!! My mom actually had to tell me to ( let go )!! FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (26895)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today after having sex with mah girlfriend I jokingly held the condom above mah mouth. Somehow the condom bustd an everything went over mah face. Worse still we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was.

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (38433)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today , after years of torment and relentless arassment , I finally built up te courage to stand up to a bully !! I got a detention 4 swearing at im !! FML

#18310525
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I'm very ill . My troat and glands r so swollen tat wenever I fall asleep, I relax too muc and cut off ma own air . Te doctor said it's a viral infection and tere's noting tey can give me, so I can coose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for te next few days . FML

#18126766
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the 19thheel at a party. Yes, I countd. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, I was the 19thheel at a party. Yes, I countd. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today , mah mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party , I mass messaged everyone on mah contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on mah contacts list. She replied ( I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded. ) FML

#17992894
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7972) - you deserved it (64527)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I was doing mah jazz aerobics workout an accidentally kicked mah 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know... including mah wife... thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (8994)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about im liking my best friend. I guess it made im mad because e yelled "Breast cancer!" at te top of is lungs before power-puncing my rigt boob.

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (33323)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today I woke up at mah girlfriend's house. She was staring at me holding a knife over mah face. She ran away giggling. mega FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (4244)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

looool Today , I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting 4 the previews , a 20 year old man dressd as a house elf tackld an wrestld me 4 my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (4766)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

2day I tried to talk to mah boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

#16984113
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (7153)

On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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