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A_SASSY_MAN

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A_SASSY_MAN
  • Town/Country : Edmond, Oklahoma
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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A_SASSY_MAN's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (6669)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51506) - you deserved it (3711)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57010) - you deserved it (20431)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (7378)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (4240)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (8166)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46773) - you deserved it (15128)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (3449)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68878) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36048) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45102) - you deserved it (3028)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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