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96Loup96's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by jake / 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brian B / 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brea / 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Geek
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
by Marie / 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by riappp / 02/25/2009 at 10:31am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…