95DeVille

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Offline (the 04/26/2014 at 7:27am)

95DeVille

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1244
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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95DeVille's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 7:27pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:49pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:16am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:39pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Joel541</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:28am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:08pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:28pm<b>dllmcg</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:24pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 5:49pm<b>xboxmaniac7</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 6:38am<b>KingAbe88</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:20am<b>bigboi00069</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:05am<b>Resa95</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 2:48am<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 12:45am<b>da_kel95</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:01pm

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95DeVille's favorite FMLs

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

by have it your way / 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous