Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

91hayek

Search for a member

91hayek

30Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7876
  • Number of comments : 729
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About 91hayek : Late nights. Long days. No sleep. All play. No smoking. No pets. Pluviophile.

Currently listening to Savages - Husbands

91hayek's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:01pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:57am<b>BrightBlue87</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Notamusedanymore</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:42am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:43am<b>harookieo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:34pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:48pm<b>el_webador</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:10pm<b>tanziir1</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:59am<b>ariasmake1</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:54am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:51am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:04am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:38am<b>softpaws</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:10am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:41am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:40pm<b>cnewton84</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Chloe555</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:49pm

Fucked!<b>harookieo</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:35am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:48am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Chloe555</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:50am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:48am<b>sv56</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:04am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:21am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:36am<b>kilerbugs123</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Nadron</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:40am<b>Hyenayena</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 2:09am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:50am<b>gracehi</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>Tilley619</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:53am<b>redheadedmonster</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:21am<b>alexandchase</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:29am

91hayek's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of 91hayek's badges

91hayek's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (4079)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (5623)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (6760)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (8562)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (1885)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (2269)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (12540)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (20553)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (35721)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (3525)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: