Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

91hayek

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

91hayek

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5684
  • Number of comments : 547
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About 91hayek : Late nights. Long days. No sleep. All play. No smoking. No pets. Pluviophile. Don't come at me if you are a morning person. I never click NO when moderating FMLs. I really like FMLs about animals, children, one in a million occurrences between strangers and seriously catastrophic FMLs that have a cost in excess of a couple of thousand dollars/pounds/rial/bhat/yen/yuan/preciousshellsusedascurrency.
Currently listening to Cults - Static.

91hayek's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:57pm<b>skobisco</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:38am<b>JusRadz</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:10pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:04pm<b>TheCavFanatic</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:10am<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:28pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:35am<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:24pm<b>birdeye1524</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:29am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:42pm<b>DonkeyTeeth2013</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:19am<b>MTJY</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:03am<b>silverstream20</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:05am<b>batah</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:54pm<b>McDerpface</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:22pm<b>mzhaze</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:16am

Fucked!<b>BeavisButthead</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:53am<b>princessofthedrk</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:52am

91hayek's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of 91hayek's badges

91hayek's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (391) - you deserved it (10215)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43226) - you deserved it (19569)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (1944)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (35632)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31960) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51164) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44804) - you deserved it (16607)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (6065)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (6151)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (24414)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53340) - you deserved it (10150)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: