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67FML's favorite FMLs
by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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- Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed… Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She… Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel…