Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

50011680

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

50011680

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 654
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

50011680's page activity

Visits<b>italianlexi</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>KMJ_Reverse</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Whistlingkettle</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:42pm

50011680's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of 50011680's badges

50011680's favorite FMLs

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (37895)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (32954)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18819) - you deserved it (35724)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (2259)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33380) - you deserved it (4679)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (11332)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (4883)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37738) - you deserved it (4153)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

#21245941
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (4373)

On 08/26/2014 at 6:55pm - misc - by Lika1712 (woman) - India (Maharashtra)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: