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31SecondsAlone

Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 7:12pm) | Search for a member

31SecondsAlone

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 959
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About 31SecondsAlone : Just a girl who's dreaming of being an author.

31SecondsAlone's page activity

Visits<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:05am<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm<b>mustang_92</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Jacobman0313</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:09pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:58pm

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31SecondsAlone's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (4092)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54644) - you deserved it (5447)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43428) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (8728)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47720) - you deserved it (7385)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53614) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48352) - you deserved it (13154)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (5337)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (19416)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (4726)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (8541)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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