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3051628

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3051628
  • Town/Country : somewhere, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5675
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's last visitors

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3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (9473)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49664) - you deserved it (19875)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (8414)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17616) - you deserved it (91999)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46570) - you deserved it (2737)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (6032)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (10279)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53079) - you deserved it (3222)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (123355)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (18653)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40961) - you deserved it (4657)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38563) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML



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