Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Search for a member

3051628
  • Town/Country : somewhere, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5546
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's last visitors

Ezelliannachrisbreastr0krredwill85AlwaysWatchingxxbvbsusanxxDailyFMLPostmissmandersxoxoRoseWithThornsJMichaelomgbrainZmomsquaredWelshite

3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52380) - you deserved it (9985)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

#11377348
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (3614)

On 06/22/2010 at 8:59am - love - by k.love - United States (Utah)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (12424)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34579) - you deserved it (5989)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14942) - you deserved it (36770)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

#9155913
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (22427)

On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (4329)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (5689)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

#8928407
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4492) - you deserved it (25614)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by BNLM - United States

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
218 comments

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

#8670993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:39pm - misc - by 0867142 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (7374)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: