Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Offline (yesterday at 1:10am) | Search for a member

3051628

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27873
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About 3051628 : Currently studying Meteorology at Penn State University, and I'm headed into the first semester of my Junior year. In general, I'm a relaxed, laid back guy. I love listening to music from nearly any genre and I also love to play video games. The newest two consoles I have are the Xbox One and Wii U. Another hobby of mine is going on long walks (while listening to music of course). I'll the past I've played basketball, soccer, tried some fencing, and a little football. I've been on this app almost every day since I first happened upon it roughly seven years ago.
I'm not sure what else to put. If there's anything else you'd like to know l, feel free to message me. Unfortunately, I'm not the best at answering messages quickly on here, so if I don't answer for a while it's nothing personal.

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>strugglingatlife</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:55pm<b>marktimemark</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:44pm<b>dhuzz</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:21pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:00am<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:18pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 3:30am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:48am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:01pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:57am<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:35am<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:04am<b>omutine</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:48am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 6:17pm<b>exitium16</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 6:03pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:55am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:55am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:17am<b>swanheart</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:16am<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:10am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:01am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:18pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:51pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:58am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:19am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:38am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:16pm<b>shutupshane12</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:41pm

3051628's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (4554)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2102)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (3206)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (2796)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (1625)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34870) - you deserved it (2625)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (7096)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (4005)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

#21410882
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (5148)

On 05/16/2015 at 7:47am - animals - by yif2 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30539) - you deserved it (2786)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (2003)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

#21407745
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (5523)

On 05/10/2015 at 11:35am - intimacy - by YouDontSay (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (4317)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (9740)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: