About 30361 : Just a guy from Brisbane, I don't really have much to complain about, so I just comment. And if I ever see someone say Yolo (in a serious way) I will burn down their house... and that's about it.
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30361's favorite FMLs
Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML
by Aly / 08/15/2013 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ShitStirringSon / 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm / United States (California) / Kids
by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
by fuck but no fuck / 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
by MarkQ95 / 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
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