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20minutesto9

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20minutesto9

1Fucked!

20minutesto920minutesto9
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  • Number of visits : 236
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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20minutesto9's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 1:39am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:23pm<b>spencer353</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:28pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:55am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:14am<b>harlz31</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:23pm

Fucked!<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:56am

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20minutesto9's favorite FMLs

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

#21499543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2015 at 12:33am - love - by killmenow - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (18090)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (11466)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (5645)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51450) - you deserved it (3016)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60617) - you deserved it (7153)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50280) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (9324)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (4111)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14137) - you deserved it (30431)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

#4827705
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67740) - you deserved it (3909)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49416) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (258327) - you deserved it (88111)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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