Search for a member

Offline (the 09/10/2015 at 10:19am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1940 (76 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2634
  • Number of comments : 681
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 1dvs_bstd : SAY HELLO TO THE BAD GUY

I comment on really old fmls from back when I was in high school and make it seem like I'm from the future. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

A couple of my favorite TV shows... In alphabetical order:
Community, Scrubs, HIMYM, Blue Mountain State, Arrested Development, Futurama, The Simpsons (Season 1-6), South Park, Family Guy, Breaking Bad etc.

A couple of my favorite movies...
The silence of the lambs, Scream, Stephen King's 'It', The evil dead, Army of darkness, Most Quentin Tarantino movies, The shawshank Redemption, The breakfast club, Star Wars.. why am I doing this? why are you still reading.. fuck all yall.

1dvs_bstd's page activity

Visits<b>11234563</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 4:10pm<b>deathshead</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 2:32pm<b>buttcrackles</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:24am<b>kittikat8ball</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 7:36pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:20pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 5:06pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:22pm<b>tonedef456</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:11pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:43am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:16am<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:08am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:04pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:34pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 7:02am<b>jessecn</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:20pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:35pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 4:01pm<b>Noah98</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:22pm<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 4:08pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:04pm<b>Noah98</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 8:22pm<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 4:50am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:08pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:43pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:56pm<b>analise1998</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 12:14pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:15am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:29am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:52pm<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:16pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:53pm<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:24pm<b>peacheso</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:43am<b>Drnavid</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:28am<b>luridz</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:33am

1dvs_bstd's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of 1dvs_bstd's badges

1dvs_bstd's favorite FMLs

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

by wot02 / 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

by blck / 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

by / 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm / Intimacy

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

by / 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm / Transportation

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

by Noname / 12/31/2008 at 1:03pm / Love

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

by Aintnosunshine / 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm / Love

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm / Love

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm / Love

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm / Money

Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML

by Disturbed / 12/30/2008 at 3:27pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

by MikeMoosey / 12/30/2008 at 1:00pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

by Noname / 12/30/2008 at 11:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love