1bj1234

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Offline (the 12/27/2015 at 3:09am)

1bj1234

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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1bj1234's page activity

Visits<b>meowwiz</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:20pm<b>madissin</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:09am<b>beelet91</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:50am<b>SamanthaaNicolee</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:21pm<b>avasta</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:13am<b>4thepower</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:25am<b>stephanieeee95</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:55pm<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:20am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:02pm<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:43pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:18am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:37am

Fucked!<b>madissin</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:05am<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:20am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:44am

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1bj1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

by teentee401 / 07/07/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

by 86145 / 08/16/2010 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

by fml / 03/07/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids