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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 November 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 591
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 1994bitches : I totes come on here to laugh and make a day betterr. Some stories on here really tickle my funny bone. Others not so much lol. Anyhoo, get off readin my shit and back to the fmls lol. Fuck Bitches (:

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1994bitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (76824) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52435) - you deserved it (6823)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (4944)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55770) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45522) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63202) - you deserved it (5821)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (16208)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (7115)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML


I agree, your life sucks (55438) - you deserved it (7420)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML


Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (6210)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (61911)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (8458)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

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