About 182crazyking : ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ
I'm Cris, just a poor dude who reads Homestuck, watches Doctor Who, plays OFF, and goes on the internet way too much (and instead of doing homework).
About 182crazyking : ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ
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182crazyking's favorite FMLs
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys",… Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas… Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and…