149967

Search for a member

149967

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4810
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

149967's page activity

Visits<b>mirandaelcraig</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:53pm<b>way2go</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:16am<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:25pm<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:32pm<b>BigSquishy23</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:58pm<b>refticon</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:04am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:23pm<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:51pm<b>cryingonions</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:57pm<b>desidog</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>DessaChan</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:05pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:56am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:29am<b>BMTHsuperfan</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:35pm<b>basicperfection</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 12:44pm

149967's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

149967's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

by apparentlyugly / 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

by BW / 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

by ohmyx3 / 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

by lucky / 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

by Lady_Luck / 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

by webcammistake / 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

by You Wish / 03/07/2009 at 2:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love