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149967

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149967
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  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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149967's favorite FMLs

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15250) - you deserved it (6044)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (3345)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (2819)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14348) - you deserved it (7250)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (21458)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

#6268491
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (8069)

On 11/12/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (1584)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (40021)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

#5235406
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (3515)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - kids - by Broeman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41114) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53260) - you deserved it (2826)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63814) - you deserved it (2486)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

#4827705
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60547) - you deserved it (3305)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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