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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (6117)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, 'Great. Don't ruin it.' FML

#21333389
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (2623)

On 01/08/2015 at 4:26pm - love - by loser - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML

#21333300
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/08/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by licensed_ginger (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39251) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

#21331516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (2582)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

#21330933
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (6327)

On 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm - love - by fml - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (6116)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (4695)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (6670)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40595) - you deserved it (8428)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)



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