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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

#21499350
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (2192)

On 12/02/2015 at 3:45pm - love - by shotdown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML

#21498523
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

#21498394
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/29/2015 at 11:55pm - love - by badplannning (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

#21497686
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (1806)

On 11/28/2015 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

#21497654
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:46pm - love - by single and hatless (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

#21497440
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:52am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

#21497413
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/27/2015 at 7:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

#21495693
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (2202)

On 11/22/2015 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML

#21495373
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/22/2015 at 1:10am - love - by unimpressed bride (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

#21495050
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (6447)

On 11/21/2015 at 1:39am - love - by same (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML

#21494864
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (1848)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:07pm - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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