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Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

#21503523
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/14/2015 at 2:29am - love - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

#21503177
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/13/2015 at 2:45am - love - by disgusted (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

#21502862
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20690) - you deserved it (1446)

On 12/12/2015 at 8:33am - love - by fionna_fiamma (woman) - Slovenia (Maribor Commune)

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, my mom made me go to church choir rehearsal with her so I could sing "the gay" out of me. FML

#21502593
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm - love - by PheobeBuffay - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML

#21502145
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (1549)

On 12/10/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

#21501998
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (1502)

On 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm - love - by PerturbedStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

#21501584
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm - love - by neverleavingthehouseagain (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

#21501462
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Emma - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

#21501461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by Nile (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

#21501460
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (2451)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by alexa (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML



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