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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

#21391357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/10/2015 at 4:19pm - love - by undanya__four (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (4610)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (3230)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (16372)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (42250)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (8979)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

#21387713
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (9485)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:44pm - love - by :/ - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (3044)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

#21386446
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (2861)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:19am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (3101)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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