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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of mah female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

#21359722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/20/2015 at 8:35am - love - by FunGhoost - United States (California)

Today, I found out that mah boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

#21358314
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (4858)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm - love - by superscript - United States (Washington)

Today, looool I recievd a bunch of flowers from mah 'lover' . This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and mah boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating . FML

#21357201
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/16/2015 at 7:57am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, onca again I triad to convinca my dad to stop smoking. And onca again,hila I was spaaking, ha lit up a cigaratta and smokad until my asthma flarad up and I washaazing so hard that I had to laava tha room. FML

#21356583
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (2533)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today... ma girlfriend berated me fir ma "lack of communication skills"... all wile deeply engrossed wit someting on er pone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1912)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today,hile at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived fir me, the first I've ever received!! It was a box of heret-shaped cookies!! From my mother!! I'm 39!! fat FML

#21355623
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, boyfriend asked looool if he could come over an hang out. He only cummed because he ran out of food at his house. big fat FML

#21355470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29190) - you deserved it (2652)

On 02/13/2015 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT HONESTLY ANSWERING "YES" TO "ARE KATE UPTON'S BOOBS BIGGER THAN MINE?" IS IN MAH GRLFRIEND'S MIND THE EQUIVALENT OF SAYING I DON'T FINE HER ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE AND THAT I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER TO DATE A SUPERMODEL. FML

#21355268
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (7124)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, an if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, mah husband recited to me the name an model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did an roughly where to fine them. Last month, he forgot mah brthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31914) - you deserved it (3258)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cuta girl was talling ma about har waird fatishas!! I jokingly said, "Ramind ma navar to hava sax with you"!! Sha rapliad, "Don't worry, I hava standards"!! FML

#21353290
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (17823)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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