Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML

by pogodrake / 01/24/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

by lmiller / 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

by Aphrodite / 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 11:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 10:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

by SINGLE / 01/23/2010 at 5:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

by weirdlove / 01/23/2010 at 3:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

by Brit / 01/23/2010 at 1:34am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

by voltronn / 01/23/2010 at 12:04am / Love

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

by ponyboy / 01/22/2010 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

by hoody / 01/22/2010 at 5:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

by Rodrigeuz26 / 01/22/2010 at 2:26am / United States (Illinois) / Love