Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

by steakysteak / 03/12/2010 at 10:06am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

by dreadedmafia86 / 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

by danikka1 / 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm / United States / Love

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

by Lonely / 03/11/2010 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Love

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

by sliceddice / 03/10/2010 at 11:08am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

by NotTilly / 03/10/2010 at 9:54am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2010 at 7:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

by Maddy / 03/10/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML

by littlemissgullible / 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Love