Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML

by MUemma / 02/25/2010 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

by loling / 02/25/2010 at 4:37am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Love

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2010 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

by pickit / 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

by sadf4x0r / 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

by Pip / 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

by mrniceguy / 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm / United States / Love

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

by kal / 02/23/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

by Crappyfayman / 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

by notworthit / 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Love