Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

by likesboys / 05/19/2010 at 8:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

by green2black / 05/19/2010 at 3:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

by Dana422 / 05/18/2010 at 1:22am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

by Babygirl / 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm / Love

Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML

by jolene11 / 05/16/2010 at 10:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

by ihatelaura / 05/15/2010 at 7:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

by schwange / 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

by ncjarhead / 04/24/2010 at 7:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

by uglyorstupid / 04/20/2010 at 12:46pm / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Love

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

by ballnchain / 03/30/2010 at 12:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

by YouAREthefather / 03/18/2010 at 12:48pm / United States (New York) / Love