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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14421) - you deserved it (1728)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (20167)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16248) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20643) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (1533)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18863) - you deserved it (3331)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

#1883
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (9481)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sends a text to one of his "friends" saying "I'm thinking of you". FML

#1878
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18170) - you deserved it (1613)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Wolf - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5646) - you deserved it (16089)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5003) - you deserved it (9809)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you deserved it (3036)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (1664)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)



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