Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

by sadf4x0r / 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

by Pip / 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

by mrniceguy / 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm / United States / Love

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

by kal / 02/23/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

by Crappyfayman / 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

by notworthit / 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2010 at 6:28am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

by shwasted / 02/22/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

by Court / 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

by anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 10:16am / United States / Love

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

by gullible / 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

by Bilirubin / 02/20/2010 at 11:22am / United States (Missouri) / Love