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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (4925)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

#4103
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (1808)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:52am - love - by wowza - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (6358)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5473) - you deserved it (74190)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (25073)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (5423)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (3593)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (4781)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (3932)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (25410)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)



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