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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you deserved it (21203)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

#4541155
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59979) - you deserved it (6505)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (2512)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48341) - you deserved it (5075)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

#4516165
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59766) - you deserved it (8647)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - love - by ish (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

#4506987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (8238)

On 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm - love - by Mark (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

#4506160
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48819) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by rick (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

#4492713
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (6281)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:23am - love - by MexyBoy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61241) - you deserved it (3120)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57577) - you deserved it (3608)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55340) - you deserved it (20468)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58839) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53621) - you deserved it (2833)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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