Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

by LonelyBoy / 03/16/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

by ManInTrouble / 03/16/2010 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

by meatballz / 03/16/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm / Ireland / Love

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

by stunned / 03/15/2010 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

by MrsRockyHorror / 03/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

by el211 / 03/15/2010 at 3:35am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

by kukadaman / 03/15/2010 at 2:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

by allennn / 03/14/2010 at 10:56am / Love

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

by crapcrapcrap / 03/14/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Love