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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

#4506160
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (5504)

On 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by rick (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

#4492713
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (6004)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:23am - love - by MexyBoy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61165) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57517) - you deserved it (3605)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55285) - you deserved it (20452)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3071)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53545) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8923) - you deserved it (66692)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50858) - you deserved it (8319)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46454) - you deserved it (21215)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

#4441693
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (37097)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

#4431065
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58726) - you deserved it (3784)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45824) - you deserved it (14513)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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