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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (44930)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

#5635869
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (5212)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13am - love - by helplesslover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (14184)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53071) - you deserved it (4914)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32451) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (2747)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (10183)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (3450)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68097) - you deserved it (4965)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

#5548309
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47454) - you deserved it (6780)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

#5541387
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (5324)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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