Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

by Keaton / 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

by Mamasboyhater / 06/15/2010 at 5:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

by milkybear / 06/15/2010 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

by Yup / 06/13/2010 at 3:48am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

by notyouraverageteenager / 06/10/2010 at 3:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

by Th3BaconNinja / 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

by Mandy / 06/07/2010 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Love

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

by soccerbooty / 06/07/2010 at 2:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

by gixxergirl8787 / 06/06/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

by CrazzY88s / 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm / Ireland (Cork) / Love

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

by someoneelsessaliva / 06/05/2010 at 2:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Love