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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

#2122739
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62243) - you deserved it (5543)

On 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by disaster... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend and sent her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

#2114921
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45947) - you deserved it (3407)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:01pm - love - by edible (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML

#2104597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53030) - you deserved it (3781)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (4086)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

#2071351
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (18868)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early Birthday present. With straight faces, they look at me and say: "we signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it take a year. FML

#2051394
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (5049)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by imnotTHATlonely (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML

#2048431
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (5610)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML

#2043522
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40900) - you deserved it (15495)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:45am - love - by oops (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML

#2008899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (3418)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:05am - love - by frenchpie - Korea Republic of (Cholla-bukto)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45198) - you deserved it (18627)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (7400)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50997) - you deserved it (10429)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)



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