Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 11:04am / United States / Love

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

by bummed / 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

by secret / 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:11am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

by stillyoung / 11/02/2010 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

by Googlebug / 11/01/2010 at 6:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

by yummy(: / 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

by serendipity1027 / 10/30/2010 at 9:40am / Love

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

by Stephie2009 / 10/30/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Love